Why is my dog SO in love with me?

Puppy love

Dear Funny Problems,

My dog is in love with me to the point where it appears he intends to break up my marriage. When my husband and I try to snuggle on the couch, our dog Buddy jumps on to separate us. At a dinner party with friends, when my husband got up for seconds, Buddy jumped up onto his seat and put his head on my shoulder. At night, he insists on sleeping on our bedroom’s hard, cold floor even though he has full access to a luxurious, leather couch, moving about and purposely clanging his collar upon the floor to dampen any romantic attempt. Please, your advice is most appreciated.

Shelly

Dear Shelly,

Thank you for writing in.  I imagine there are a lot of readers out there that have had similar experiences with their family pet.  That said, the first thought that popped into my mind after reading your submission was, “Why did Shelly and her husband bring their dog to a dinner party?”  My next thought was that if you and your husband want to get romantic, “Why are you doing so with your dog in the bedroom?”

All relationships, human and canine, need healthy boundaries.  If you and your husband are bringing your animal with you to parties and exposing him to your most intimate moments it’s no surprise that he thinks you guys have something going on.  I mean, I kind of think you might too.  Boundaries have been crossed.  If you want a different kind of relationship with Buddy then it is up to you to create a new dynamic.  May I suggest that the next time you are invited to a party that you leave your dog at home for a few hours?  Also, when the mood strikes, I encourage you to lock your bedroom door.  Buddy will be fine, that leather couch sounds super comfy.  Like most problems in our life it’s important to look at what our role in the disfunction is.   

Sending over good vibes this very instant,

Funny Problems