What do I do when my husband falls asleep in public?

Rock-A-Bye Snuffy

Dear Funny Problems,

My husband has a tendency to randomly fall asleep when we are out in public. It usually happens after a long week when he has had a few cocktails. We will be at dinner or at a party and his eyes will start to look heavy and suddenly he is passed out (usually sitting up)! Although most of our close friends are used to it, sometimes it happens at dinner with acquaintances and it is really embarrassing. At times I have been asked by friends-“are we really that boring that we are making him fall asleep”? Any ideas about how to handle this other than putting him to bed before I go out solo?

Snuffy’s wife

 

Dear wife of Snuffy

Have you been spying on me?  I have the exact same problem.  I’ll see your husband that passes out while sitting up, and raise you mine that fell asleep on our first date, STANDING UP, at a concert no less!  And 15 years later Mr. Funny Problems is still a sleepy guy.  So I hear you sister.  Loud and clear.  We’re in this one together.  

Before I tell you what I think works best, I will share some of the strategies that have not been so successful.

Once your guy falls asleep:

Do Not kick his legs under the table.  There’s no long-term gain.  It’ll only wake him up in that instant and then the subject usually falls right back to sleep anyway.

Do Not pull his arm hairs out.  That hurts.  And he’ll be SO mad if you do.

Do Not clench your teeth and whisper things like, “Wake up.  I hate it when you do this.  You’re making everyone feel so weird”….because everyone at the table will hear you and then YOU look like the crazy one.

DO tell your dinner companions not to take it personally and share that they aren’t the first and they won’t be the last people that have put him to sleep.

DO suggest that anyone who is seated next to him move closer to the patrons that are still awake.

DO try to schedule outings on Saturday nights.  Friday nights are no bueno after a week of work.

Lastly, don’t hang around with squares that can’t find the humor in this. Everybody has a tragic flaw.  If this is Snuffy’s then I would say you’re in pretty good shape.

FP

 

1 thought on “What do I do when my husband falls asleep in public?

  1. Aileen McAnally March 1, 2018 — 2:45 pm

    This is pure gold

    Liked by 1 person

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