I want my wife to go on birth control. Help.

To V or not to V

Dear FP

I have fantastic young kids and an awesome marriage to the greatest woman I have ever known.  She is a few years younger than me with an ageless soul – she is truly the best ever.  While my family is amazing it does feel complete and as I begin to work my way into my mid-40s I have become increasingly sure I am “done” having more kids.  My wife on the other hand is still on the fence. My problem is that I think she should go on birth control rather than have me get a vasectomy. If we can be real here for a minute, the inconvenient truth is that if, God forbid, something terrible happened and we had to divorce or one of us passed away we would each be in quite different procreation situations.  If I wanted to remarry, there is a chance (maybe remote… but who knows, maybe not) my new wife might want to have kids. Yet if my current wife remarried, the odds are much more likely that they would not want to have kids. Assuming each of us wants the other person to be happy doesn’t logic demand it be her that handle our birth control situation? And if so, what is the best way to communicate that to her?

Virile Vinny

Dear Virile

Ummmm.  Wow. Communication is key hombre and my suggestion is that you tell your wife exactly what you just told me.  Especially the part about her dying and you going on to have more children with your new wife. By the way, why are you open to the idea of having another child with your new potential missus but “done” having children with Mrs. Vinny the first?  I’m not trying to bust your chops, I just think you should have an answer handy. I won’t weigh in on who should do what with their body. My suggestion is to show your “current” wife this post and I think that may be all the birth control you need.    

FP